DATING LIKE A BOSS

CHAPTER 2

BUILDING UNSHAKEABLE CONFIDENCE BASED ON THE BIBLE

Understanding true confidence

Many people seek confidence in appearance, achievement, or others' approval. However, biblical confidence is distinct: it is anchored in God's character, promises, and presence - rather than in ourselves or the shifting opinions of the world. The Bible encourages believers to place their trust and confidence in God, developing an unshakeable assurance that transcends circumstances.

1. The Foundation: Confidence comes from God
a. Created with purpose and value
From the very beginning, scripture reveals that humans are created in God's image (Genesis 1:27). This truth gives every believer inherent dignity and worth, not based on performance but on God's loving purpose. David writes: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). This means our confidence starts with recognizing that God designed us intentionally and lovingly. He does not want to see us perishing, but He wants to see us duplicating His identity and character. 'The likeness of God'

b. Christ is our confidence Paul says, 'Such is the confidence that we have through Christ towards God' (2 Corinthians 3:4-5). Our relationship with Jesus gives us access to God's grace, unconditional love, and acceptance. When feelings of inadequacy arise, we remember that our sufficiency comes from God, not from ourselves. Christ is your confidence, what man fails to give you, God can. You must always have that in mind. God is a father, He cares and no one cares like The great Jehovah.

c. The Holy Spirit empowers believers Believers are not left alone. The Holy Spirit empowers, guides, and comforts (John 14:16-17). This presence means we face challenges with God inside us, not just beside us. Paul reminds Timothy, 'God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control' (2 Timothy 1:7). The Spirit of God provides rational thinking - in greek it is called sophronismos The Holy Spirit is a change maker, without The Holy Spirit as a person it is very difficult to discern danger in what you are trying to build. Guided by The Holy Spirit you are building on The Rock of ages, that family will survive storms of life.

2. Confidence through God's Promises The Bible is packed with promises that fuel our confidence
God will never leave us: 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you for you are mine' (Hebrews 13:5-6). Because God's presence is constant, our confidence remains, even in difficulty. He gives wisdom: 'If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God and it will be given to him' (James 1:5). We can confidently make decisions, knowing God provides wisdom and strength in weakness: 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' (2 Corinthians 12:9). Even when we feel weak, God's grace empowers us. Meditating on, memorizing, and declaring these promises strengthens our assurance in God's reliability.

3. Overcoming Fear and self - doubt
a. Rejecting lies with God's Word Confidence grows as we replace internal lies with God's truth. When thoughts of 'I'm not enough' surface, we counter them with: 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (Philippians 4:13). People perceive us differently; and you cannot change that fact. Never allow other people's opinion about you to cloud your mind, you are what God says you are and you are who God says you are. Never dim your lights for anyone, before God you are complete and enough.

b. Admitting weakness and trusting God Instead of masking weakness, the biblical model is humility before God and reliance on His strength. Paul boasted in his weaknesses so that 'Christ's power may rest on him according to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. When God is your trust you shift your disappointments to God, what should be dissappointing you becomes God's issue in that way you are not affected. Imagine how a child behaves let's say a family gets lost or misdirected while on vacation, normally the child is not affected as long as that child is with the parents. The issue of being lost is the parents problem not of the child. If we can all adopt that attitude as believers none of us would be bothered when our relationships turn sour.

c. Refusing comparison Comparison kills confidence. The Bible teaches each person has unique gifts (1 Corinthians 12:4-7). Focusing on God's calling for your specific life develops authentic confidence. Confidence is built by knowing that you have built upon a solid rock. Here is your song when seas roar and skys turn dark My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' Name. On Christ the solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.

4. Cultivating boldness through action
a. Prayer and bold requests Approach God with confidence: 'Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence...' (Hebrews 4:16). Regular prayer builds assurance of God’s attention and care. Jesus says until now you have not made any request, He further advises His disciples to make requests so that their joy may be complete, Until now you have not asked [the Father] for anything in My name; but now ask and keep on asking and you will receive, so that your joy may be full and complete. The completion of your joy is attached to Jesus. A relationship or family that will make you joyful is the one cemented upon the rock of ages. To make a request to God begins by having a quality relationship with God. Where is your foundation? or else who is your foundation?

b. Obeying God courageously Acting on God's Word, even when afraid, trains our spiritual muscles. Joshua was told repeatedly, 'I repeat, be strong and brave! Do not yield to fear nor be discouraged, for I am Yahweh your God, and I will be with you wherever you go!'. God's faithfulness is witnessed when one takes a step of faith. Provision follows vision, until you move you won't see the move of God in your situation. (Joshua 1:9). Peter was able to walk over water upon taking a step of faith, mind you, it was him who made a request to be called by Jesus according to Matthew 14:28.

c. Speaking truth boldly
The apostles prayed for boldness (Acts 4:29-31) and God empowered them to proclaim the gospel despite challenges. Confidence is tied to speaking and acting on God's truth, regardless of opposition. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free, this statement cannot be over emphasized. Do not be afraid to tell your fiancee the truth as it is. Many marriages fail not just because they should but because of lack of truth. Truth is eternal, there's no way truth can be burried. Truth will always resurrect, Jesus says I am the way truth and the life, He resurrected because He is the truth - eternal word of God.

5. Living out unshakeable confidence
a. Community encouragement
Surround yourself with other believers who speak life and truth. 'Encourage one another and build each other up' (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Community reinforces our confidence by reminding us of God's work in our lives and stories. We live our lives as pack animals, we are what we are because of the people who are surrounding our lives. Association is very key, behaviour and habits are a result of associations. Who are your friends? Friends can make you or break you. We learn from others according to Proverbs 2:2 encourages paying close attention to wisdom and understanding

b. Exercising praise and gratitude
Thankfulness shifts focus from insecurity to God's blessings. David often began psalms in distress and ended in praise, fueling his confidence according to Psalm 27:1-3. Gratitude attracts more. Grateful people always see or experience the goodness of the Lord in provision. There is a famous song that goes when praises go up His blessings come down Your dream life is dependant on how you treat your relationship with God. David had a quality relationship with God, he valued praise as enshrined in Psalms 103:1-3 where he says bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not his benefits...David always remembered the kindness of God towards him and perceived God as a source of life.

c. Surrender and trust
True confidence rests in surrender. As you trust God, give Him your fears, and fix your eyes on Jesus - confidence grows resilience and endurance. God wants us to surrender everything to Him, cast your cares to Him for He cares for you 'Being confident of this, that he who began the good work in you will carry it on to completion' (Philippians 1:6). God doesn't need help from you, just surrender yourself to Him - be a child to God.

Conclusion
Unshakeable confidence is not arrogance or self - promotion. It is trusting God's character, embracing who He says you are, standing on His promises, and stepping forward in faith. As you ground your identity, expectations, and future in God, you'll find a confidence that the world cannot take away no matter the challenge.

DATING LIKE A BOSS!!!

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Relationships should be marked by purity and mutual respect, as outlined in 1 Timothy 5:1-2