THE REAL MAN'S BREAKFAST

CHAPTER 19 TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS

BUILDING BONDS THAT LAST

Toxic friends who manipulate or demand too much relational attention can damage the marriage by pulling one spouse away emotionally and socially from the other. If your spouse perceives a friend as toxic and you ignore their concerns, it harms trust and unity in the marriage. There are friends who undermine the institution of marriage; you find some making phone calls even in the middle of the night, talking about issues that can be postponed to the following day. This habit brings unnecessary controversy to the family.

Misconception: Many families broke down because of a misconception. What is a misconception? Misconception is all about missing facts on an issue. As we miss facts, we tend to have wrong perceptions. Wrong perceptions erode truth. For a family to stay united, we have to minimise speculations and lower expectations. If your expectations are low, you cannot be easily offended. How can you bring down a man who is already down? Endeavour to find facts and respond based on facts, not misconceptions and gossip.

Friends who encourage negativity about spouses: When friends frequently complain about their own or your spouse, it normalizes negativity and can lead to resentment and emotional distance in the marriage. This kind of toxic talk can poison your perspective and interactions with your spouse. You end up noticing things that you have not been noticing all along.

Friends who do not respect or acknowledge your spouse: For example, ignoring your spouse's presence or avoiding talking about them can undermine your relationship and create emotional distance. This often signals unhealthy motives and can lead to conflict. If your friend's value or respect your Marriage, those friends will shun discussing your previous relationships in front of your spouse.

Close opposite-sex friendships can be very risky: When a spouse has a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex who involves frequent, intimate communication, can lead to emotional affairs and infidelity, severely damaging the marriage.

Friends who become your main confidants instead of your spouse can erode marital intimacy. Sharing your deepest fears, hopes, and struggles with friends rather than your spouse builds stronger bonds with friends but weakens the marital relationship. Also, friends who consume excessive time can deprive the couple of needed connection and nurturing time.


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A real man is characterised by having muscles in 5 spheres of life, that is spiritually, emotionally,physically, socially and financially
Dr. Mduduzi Walter Mkhonta